The Rose Bowl Game turns one hundred this year making what is already the greatest even greater. Picture this, bacon with bacon sprinkles on top. Kevin Costner, playing every role in a movie. A basketball team with Shawn Kemp at every position. Imagine watching the 1989 box office smash mega hit Weekend at Bernie’s every time like it was the first time. That is the Rose Bowl to those that are one of three things:
1) Incredibly attractive
2) Incredibly intelligent
3) OR both.
The greatness of the Rose Bowl is one of a few guarantees in life. The other’s being death, taxes, racists starting their racist statement with “I’m not racist BUT”, fat people having a side of ranch and a diet coke, Fox News being ‘Fair and Balanced’, Bill Belichick looking slightly homeless, ugly people saying “it’s what’s on the inside that counts”, and hillbillies, if given a TV show, saying something to offend gays and minorities.
The Rose Bowl is so great there is a parade before the game. As Americans, we know when something is preceded by a parade it is greatness. Other things that are preceded by a parade are, in order of greatness, the 4th of July (greatness over the Red Coats), Thanksgiving (greatness over the Indians), and Christmas (greatness over the Liberal Communist Socialist Atheist Environmentalists). Need I say more?
The Rose Bowl is so American if it was a person it would be Rocky Balboa ripping the head off of Adolf Hitler while eating a freshly baked apple pie humming God Bless America while at the same time voting to repeal Obamacare.
The Rose Bowl is ‘Made in America’, ‘Don’t mess with Texas’, ‘Forget about it’ (pronounced by Joe Pesci), ‘You can take my guns from my cold dead hands’, and West Coast snobbery (that’s you San Francisco) all rolled into one bowl game played on the same day every year; the first day of the year. The single day of the year when every thing is possible, every thing is in front of you, the day that still holds the promise that ‘this year is my year’.
The Rose Bowl was the first bowl game to be desegregated, leading to equality in college football. Equality, a word made famous in some American declaration….Oh that’s right, the Declaration of Independence.
The Rose Bowl for college football fans is the bowl game. If you are lucky enough to be from Pac-12 or Big-10 territory you’ve known this from birth. It is Kwanzaa, Hanukah, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Labor Day, Memorial Day, Martin Luther King Day, President’s Day, Superbowl Sunday, Opening Day, and Game 7 of the Finals with a touch of father son catch in the back yard all wrapped together.
The Rose Bowl is in summation, the summation of everything great, in greatness.